just about ready

not much more to write about. you aren't quite here officially yet, but you've been the highlight anyway; we are getting everything ready, spending a lot on special things for you, and taking the time to feel and talk to you, play music for you, and imagine the new life just around the corner with you. Really you've been with us very consciously for 6 months. You exist, just waiting to be thrust into this world that's not as womby as you might like...

I am almost finished reading Heading Home with your Newborn, and I also have the Be Prepared handbook for new dads, so I will have some clue what to do once you are born. I was terrified of making a mistake that could harm you, so now I feel a little more steady. Now armed with some fairly obvious knowledge that was easy to obtain, I wonder how any parent could do some of the things they carelessly do.

Because of how it can impact you, I have a sudden dis-empathy for anyone who feels the need to smoke cigarettes constantly. I don't know how you're ever going to be able to see your grandpa...

A flaw of mine is having a standard that doesn't allow me to stay focused, I get angry at the careless actions of others and start to react to them- I am trying to build up some new mental constitution so I can keep my focus on protecting you and avoid being distracted by the stupidity of others around us.